Grace
A favorite song of mine lately is Shawn Grove's "All is Grace" on his "Third World Symphony" cd. Which, in my opinion, is wonderful. This song brought back Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts" front and center to my mind. I finished it this past summer on our road trip. I read it slowly, savored it, encouraged by the fact that it inspired me to start recording in a journal that for which I am grateful. But then, I tucked it away. Read the book. Check. Write in gratitude journal fairly regularly (most of the time). Check. Until school started back. School this year with five children, preschool through high school. Special needs to potty training to learning abc's to learning logic...Throw in some major thyroid issues and emotional outbursts lately with Jonathan and suddenly, I am feeling WAY out of my league. I am now overwhelmed, scared, doubtful, trying hard to just make it through each day.
Then one night, I am catching up on emails and reading one of Ann's that I had been waiting to read when I had some quiet and could "think." I come across her interview with Shawn, listen to this song, and then know that I have to buy this cd! It reminds me that maybe this chaos, this unknown, this sadness, this is my opportunity for eucharisteo...this is my calling. But this? This is so hard! This is not what I signed up for...here I go again. Back to that sign up list that has haunted me for the better part of my life. You know, the sign up list of my plans of what I thought was intended for my life.
So, I listen to the song over and over. I pray. I pray at night, I pray in the heat of hard moments, I pray in early morning hours as I am half asleep. I read His Word and He speaks! I read a simple, yet profound homeschool devotional and He speaks some more. He is there; I have finally shown up. He is grace to me as I try to be grace to my children, my husband, my family, my friends. Most of the time, I feel as though I fail miserably at it. But He is still there, offering me love, encouragement, and grace so that I will learn to do the same.
Then one night, I am catching up on emails and reading one of Ann's that I had been waiting to read when I had some quiet and could "think." I come across her interview with Shawn, listen to this song, and then know that I have to buy this cd! It reminds me that maybe this chaos, this unknown, this sadness, this is my opportunity for eucharisteo...this is my calling. But this? This is so hard! This is not what I signed up for...here I go again. Back to that sign up list that has haunted me for the better part of my life. You know, the sign up list of my plans of what I thought was intended for my life.
So, I listen to the song over and over. I pray. I pray at night, I pray in the heat of hard moments, I pray in early morning hours as I am half asleep. I read His Word and He speaks! I read a simple, yet profound homeschool devotional and He speaks some more. He is there; I have finally shown up. He is grace to me as I try to be grace to my children, my husband, my family, my friends. Most of the time, I feel as though I fail miserably at it. But He is still there, offering me love, encouragement, and grace so that I will learn to do the same.
Comments
Love you and missed you on Sunday. I'll look forward to telling you about our time in G'ville.