Summer Don't Go...

(This post was written last week, the day before we started school)

Tomorrow is our first official day of school.  We have had a few days of work this summer, but tomorrow will be the day of the pictures, the new supplies, the favorite muffins baked, you get the idea :).  I keep putting off our first day for a couple of reasons.  First, I have had a mess to clean up and organize.  Homeschooling five kids, oops, I mean four kids now :), involves a lot of paperwork and curriculum to think through.  Honestly, I love teaching but do not enjoy organizing.  And I am not so great at housework.  Just being real here.  Add to this that our kids are currently trying to clean out ALL of the toys in our house.  Which says to me, SO MANY DECISIONS. And I have found that the decision making thing?  It's not really my strong suit!  Getting rid of toys represents an end of era that I am not sure I am ready to let go of.  Taking our oldest back to college for his second year has hit me pretty hard.  So not having him around and then getting rid of his old Hess trucks is a little tough for this sappy mom.  Some moms have no problem getting rid of stuff.  I wish I was more like that.  I really do. It is a struggle for me and I don't know why.  I think for so many years, we always knew there would be another child who would play with the toys. And now, the kiddos are growing up and not into all the toys so much anymore.

The other reason I am struggling to start school is because, even though I know we are ready and desperately need to get back on a schedule, having our days and times all claimed by various commitments is hard for me.  I have found the older I have gotten that I am really an introvert!  If you knew me, you would probably be surprised as I seem like an extrovert. In truth, I like to be home and around my people.  I also really love time to be quiet.  I would spend hours in Bible study if I could with no one else around.  As a family, I feel we are pretty careful with our commitments and we truly try to pray over all that we do before we commit.  So, the things we do are good and I feel are God-honoring.  It's just sometimes I need some strength that only comes from God to make things happen.  But I guess that's the beauty of this life, when we are serving Christ, He helps us see the need for Him.  If I was super woman (or actually Wonder Woman, she was always my favorite ;), I wouldn't need God and could do life on my own.  And how horrible would that be?!  I would mess up and be so selfish.  But, getting back into the routine of school and commitments is good for me to totally realize my dependence on Christ.  

Our pastor spoke a wonderful message on Sunday out of Acts and told us that "Jesus Christ is Lord over our chaos."  I keep going back to that phrase.  I leaned over to my husband mid way through the sermon and asked if he had emailed our pastor about the previous week because it felt like that sermon was FOR ME.  To say I had been a crazy woman would probably be an understatement.  Some back pain issues for me, a messy house, and really missing our oldest, all made for a CRAZY KRISTI who was ready to cry explosive tear bombs at any second.  But that is probably another blog post for another day...Our pastor said also that we get our strength by knowing God's Word and also we are to realize that we are put in our chaos with people God wants us to invest in.  What a lightbulb moment for me. Add to that, in my Bible Study right now, "The Armor of God," by Priscilla Shirer, I have been learning about putting on the "shoes of peace."  I need some peace right now and God in His goodness, strategically timed it so at this point in the summer I would learn about His peace.

I know this blog post had a lot of randomness scattered but I hope someone can take from it what God has been showing me.  First of all, get in His Word and be involved in a Gospel preaching church. God will speak to you through both of these avenues and He will grow your faith.  Second of all, remember, He is in your chaos!  He has put you in this place at this time for a purpose.  Thirdly, if you are like me and hesitant to start a new season in your life, whatever it may be, you just need to jump in!  Author and homeschool mom Sarah MacKenzie said, "Let God feed the 5,000 with your measly basket of loaves and fish."  For the homeschool moms out there especially, I loved her quote, "I know you're afraid (to start homeschooling), but do it anyway.  Do it afraid.  We all just need to do it afraid."  We will mess up and it will be guaranteed to not be perfect. But it's okay!  Whatever it is that God has called you to do, do it afraid if you need to, but trust that He will see you through ☺️.

First Day of School (Year 13 of homeschooling.  It's hard to believe that our oldest was the age of our youngest now when we started this journey :)

2nd Grade

5th Grade

9th Grade (in a boot :)

10th Grade

Here we are dropping off our oldest for his second year of college!  It was a crazy move in day, but I am so thankful to get to be present in his life.