Twenty Eight
Twenty eight years ago, five siblings gathered with their parents. We all shared love and even a couple of laughs, even though there was a sad reality settling in with the laughter. We witnessed once again, and for the last time, the love between our parents. Even in her weariness, our mom was as beautiful and strong as she had ever been. She took charge in a loving yet gentle way. She let him know how very much he was loved and reminded him that His Heavenly Father was waiting and that we would all be fine. He told each of us he loved us. We held him and each other. We looked at each other with sadness and love in our eyes. It was happening so fast, yet we knew it was time. It was his time. And we were saying goodbye to the greatest man in our lives here on this earth. We didn't know or think about what was to come in the moving forward without his gentle presence physically in our lives. We relished the last moments with him in deep gratitude that we were gathered together. We cherished that we were witnessing a peaceful homecoming to heaven.
I look back at that time with sadness, of course, but also gratefulness. I know now at my age that getting to say goodbye is a gift. Having parents with a true love and watching them care for each other well is also a gift. I am thankful for watching my dad serve in the church behind the scenes my whole life. I will always remember his worn Bible with his writing in it and the little black notebook he always carried with it to write his church notes in each week. And my heart swells when I remember always feeling treasured and loved by him.
Twenty eight years ago. What I wouldn't give to have had him hug me at my high school and college graduations. To have him walk me down aisle and be at the hospital meeting each of my five babies after they were born. To have him pouring into my children's lives all these years. But, as much as the void is felt, my peace from God is so much greater. Instead of dwelling in sorrow (although I have had many days of sorrow missing him), I choose joy. I choose joy not just because my earthly father would have wanted it, but because my Heavenly Father wants me to choose joy. It is a gift from God. His word says in Habakkuk 3:18, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation." And then again in Proverbs 17:22 we read that, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
Tonight, my big brother was in town and he had dinner with my Gouch Gang. I got to cook one more time before Trey goes back to school. It made my heart happy. Then, in true fashion of my dad, my brother fixed our garage door that had been broken for a few weeks. My dad was known as the "garage door man" and was great at all things having to do with garage doors. He taught the trade to my brother who was also great at it for many years. So now I smile, with joy, at my newly repaired garage door. Dad would be pleased 😉.
(Gouch Gang family dinner with my brother & card tricks by Benjamin)
I look back at that time with sadness, of course, but also gratefulness. I know now at my age that getting to say goodbye is a gift. Having parents with a true love and watching them care for each other well is also a gift. I am thankful for watching my dad serve in the church behind the scenes my whole life. I will always remember his worn Bible with his writing in it and the little black notebook he always carried with it to write his church notes in each week. And my heart swells when I remember always feeling treasured and loved by him.
Twenty eight years ago. What I wouldn't give to have had him hug me at my high school and college graduations. To have him walk me down aisle and be at the hospital meeting each of my five babies after they were born. To have him pouring into my children's lives all these years. But, as much as the void is felt, my peace from God is so much greater. Instead of dwelling in sorrow (although I have had many days of sorrow missing him), I choose joy. I choose joy not just because my earthly father would have wanted it, but because my Heavenly Father wants me to choose joy. It is a gift from God. His word says in Habakkuk 3:18, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation." And then again in Proverbs 17:22 we read that, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
Tonight, my big brother was in town and he had dinner with my Gouch Gang. I got to cook one more time before Trey goes back to school. It made my heart happy. Then, in true fashion of my dad, my brother fixed our garage door that had been broken for a few weeks. My dad was known as the "garage door man" and was great at all things having to do with garage doors. He taught the trade to my brother who was also great at it for many years. So now I smile, with joy, at my newly repaired garage door. Dad would be pleased 😉.
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