Mother's Day 2021

 I am writing for the first time in a long time.  I have had so many posts in my head, but they just do not seem to make it out onto the blog.  Sometimes they make it onto paper, but that seems rare also.  

Today is the day before Mother's Day. It is my second Mother's Day without my mom alive here on earth, and the same for Harvey as well.  The pain lessens, but missing both of these ladies does not.  This week, it has caught me off guard how much I miss my mom when I passed a woman around my mom's age in a coffee shop and then another woman watching at our son's baseball game. If she were alive, she would be such a part of our family as our lives continue to move forward.  But she is not, and the loss of her presence is felt. 

She would be so proud of our kids...  Trey, as he finished his last papers and tests in grad school, being her first grandchild to receive a master's degree probably would have made her burst with excitement! Claire, the wife of Trey that she only knew for a short time, but instantly adored, working hard on her master's degree also and loving Trey well would have brought my mom so much joy. Jonathan, how my mom would have beamed hearing about his job and probably would have even forced herself to like coffee just so she could drink the beans he roasts! Rebekah, finishing her first year at Liberty University-my mom would have loved hearing every detail of her adventure and friendships.  Benjamin, she would have been to all of his baseball games and would have scratched his back while staying up late to watch Warriors basketball games with him.  And Elizabeth, she would have come to any play she was in, listened to speeches she was preparing, heard all about the books she was reading, and probably even would have found a special recipe to make with her.  But the reality is, it's just not how it is. She is celebrating in heaven with my dad.  As much as all of these things would have brought her joy, I know the joy she is experiencing in heaven far surpasses any joy any of us could bring her, and for that, I am grateful.

I am also grateful for the lessons my mom taught me, which were many.  Recently I came across some beautifully written letters she wrote to me around the time we found out Jonathan had Down syndrome.  In one of them she wrote, "I believe with all my heart that each thing that comes into my life and the life of my children is a refining process to conform us to the image of God."  She also talked to me about how she was going to try to weigh her words more carefully and speak only words of love and encouragement to her children.  I pray that the same may the same be true of me!  To those of you reading this who are moms, daughters, aunts, or whatever your title, may you weigh your words carefully and look to Christ for the words to speak to those around you.  I have failed so many times with my words, but reading her letters reminded me again of the importance of it.

As you go through your day tomorrow, I pray that you may experience gratitude. Even if your Mother's Day looks different than you hoped or expected, I pray that you will always remember that you are made in the image of God and He loves you more than you could imagine.

My beautiful mom, our Queen!

Mother's Day 2020 with our Gouch Gang ❤️