Launching Another

 A few days ago, we launched another Gouch. I know this feeling; it's not our first time.  Some say it gets easier, but not for me.  Launching a child marks the end of a season. And I know that this is good, healthy, and God's plan.  I also know that the ability for a child to launch is a gift.  But when you pray for a baby, are blessed to carry for nine months and finally deliver that baby, and spend 18 years continuing to pray for and care for the same baby who grows into a young adult...when the day comes to fully release that young adult is hard. It's just hard. And this is where we are with our baby boy.

I will miss his smile in my house everyday, I will miss his ability to make me laugh at the worst times, I will miss his goofy sense of humor (I always said he is the funniest Gouch), I will miss his appreciation of anything I cook for him, I will miss our talks in the car, I will miss how he empties the kitchen trash for me without complaining, I will miss scratching his back, I will miss how he eats all the bananas, and his love for PB&Js, I will miss watching his kindness and patience with his grandfather & his wife, I'll miss watching him play basketball when that season rolls around, and goodness, I'll even miss hearing him yell and being loud with his friends while gaming late at night! 

A few days ago, we packed the car with boxes, suitcase, and things for a dorm room. We unloaded it all and unpacked it in his new room. We ate one more meal together, took photos, lingered long over ice cream in a parking lot, gave hugs and kisses, and drove away, but this time, he stayed.  We have done this before, but he has always come back with us. This time, we came home without him. Life will continue on for us, as it should, but there will be a void.  There will be another empty chair at our table and his room will now be clean and quiet. So very quiet. And my calendar will no longer be filled with all the places we will go with and for him, but rather it will mark the days until we see him again. 

Life will be new and exciting for him, and don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for the adventures he is about to have! I can't wait to hear the stories and meet his new friends. Benjamin, always remember that you are loved, already missed, and we are so proud of you!